On Being A Woman With Lyme

The most frustrating thing about not having an official diagnosis is the presumption that it's all in my head. Theoretically speaking, I should be able to work and live and function like a normal adult like this, because I don't have a Lyme diagnosis. Guilty until proven innocent. 

And so here I am, trying to keep all the plates spinning while constantly on the edge of falling apart. Sometimes, I do fall apart.

It also doesn't help to have a partner who has bought into the typical western doctor's idea of: 

"Well, WE didn't find anything wrong with you, therefore, there's nothing wrong with you."

And:

"Those lumps that are growing all over your body? Don't worry. They're just lipomas. They are completely NORMAL for men, actually."

Yaaaaaaaa.....

So when it comes to me, I get messages of: "Why are you sick all the time?"

"It's probably all in your head and maybe you are just depressed."

"All these herbs that you take and you never seem to get better?" 

"Aches and pains and foggy brain are just part of being human."

"Pain and being constantly tired are a normal part of aging." (We are both only in our 40s!)

Honestly, I suspect that he has lyme too, but if I suggested it, I'm not sure he'd ever pursue testing. He always says he doesn't want to know about his conditions. If he had cancer, he'd rather just die from it. 

Nice, eh? 

So I'm expected to suck it up like he does. The only thing is that now I'm becoming aware of how much worse the experience of Lyme is for women, because of our hormones, and our cycles. It's almost like the Lyme takes advantage of our times of weakness (hormonal changes, pms, periods) to work its way deeper into our bodies! 

I feel like Lyme is the ultimate social weakener for women as we struggle to remain strong and and keep all the plates spinning in our lives. Our naturally strong, enduring nature struggles to find a new normal with Lyme, and we're driven to keep doing normal adult things in a physically, emotionally, and spiritually crippled state.